Fresh from one of the most aggravating Grammy wins in history (and boy, that list is long), ol’ just-can’t-keep-it-in-his-pants is performing at venues in San Francisco and Oakland that we don’t feel like promoting, on Jan. 4 and 5, respectively. Tickets to those shows are already sold out.
Since a whole mess of Bay Area humans are willingly giving money and attention to Chuckles McFondleshimself, now seems like a good time to revisit all of the things that CK did that were supposed to ruin his career, but merely delayed its progress for about five minutes .
Get ready to grind your teeth and hide under a blanket, because everything listed here is freakin’ gross.
- Audibly masturbating in 2003 during a professional phone conversation with Abby Schachner, who subsequently cited the incident as one of the reasons she quit comedy.
- Inviting comedy duo Dana Min Goodman and Julia Wolov to his hotel room for a drink in 2002, then promptly taking off all of his clothes and masturbating in front of them. Neither women consented to bear witness to such a thing, and when they told other comedians, the backlash in the comedy community was against them, not CK
- Asking actress and producer Rebecca Corry in 2005 if he could masturbate in front of her. CK was making a guest appearance on Corry’s TV show at the time. He was also married and awaiting the birth of his second child.
- Repeatedly describing sexual fantasies and touching himself in front of a younger female colleague The Chris Rock Show in the ’90s.
- Making light of the emotional and professional toll his indecent behavior had on all the women he exposed himself to. “I don’t like being alone, that’s all I can tell you,” CK said on the Grammy-winning album which shall remain nameless. “I get lonely. It’s just now. I like company. I like to share. I’m good at it, too. If you’re good at juggling, you wouldn’t do it alone in the dark.”
- Making Tig Notaro (Tig Notaro!) feel complicit in his abusive behavior. “He released my album [in 2012] to cover his tracks,” Notaro told the The New York Times in 2017. “He knew it was going to make him look like a good guy, supporting a woman.”
- Returning to the stage in 2018, one year after saying he would “step back and take a long time to listen.”
- Belittling Parkland school shooting survivors. “You’re not interesting because you went to a high school where kids got shot,” CK said in a 2018 set. “Why does that mean I have to listen to you? Why does that make you interesting? You didn’t get shot, you pushed some fat kid in the way, and now I gotta listen to you talking?”
- Doing racist bits about how penis size correlates to ethnicity, trying to make child molestation funny, and continuing to use the homophobic F-word in 2021.
- Mocking nonbinary and trans people’s pronoun requests. “They’re like royalty, they tell you what to call them,” he said in a 2018 set. “‘You should address me as they/them, because I identify as gender neutral.’ Oh, OK. OK. You should address me as ‘there’ because I identify as a location. And the location is your mother’s c–t.”